All My Love
by PizzaTop21
Summary: He still loved her. He didn't care that her hand was no longer his to hold or that it had been months since their breakup—he still loved her. And that was one thing that would never change.


**Hey everyone! Ok. So I know that I haven't put an oneshot out in a while, and I've had this idea in my head for a while. So I finally decided to just sit down and write this.**

**I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous about posting this. As you may or may not know, this is my first crack at writing romance. And it's Lomille romance at that. So please, be understanding: /**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Big Time Rush.**

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He still loved her.

No matter how much went flying by, or how much they agreed to just be friends, Logan Mitchell would always be in love with Camille Roberts. It was as simple as that. He didn't care that her hand was no longer his to hold or that it had been months since their breakup—he still loved her. He couldn't let go of her, no matter how hard he tried or how well he fooled people into believing that like Camille, he had moved on. But as he began to learn, it's too hard to forget her when she gave him so much to remember.

But it was too late to fix whatever happened between them. Camille had found Steve, and as much as it pained Logan to admit, he made her happy. And Logan only wanted Camille to be happy. As much as he wished that it was _him _who held Camille and _him _who she told just how much she loved him, Logan knew that Steve could give Camille everything he could. Maybe even more. And if Steve could give Camille the world, give her everything she ever wanted, everything Logan never could, then he wanted that for her. He just wanted her to be happy. And that's why he didn't go after her. Logan refused to mess up what Camille so desperately wanted.

That acceptance, however, still could not fill the horrible, empty, hollow feeling that seemed to never leave his heart when Camille was gone. Logan's chest literally _hurt _when he saw Camille with Steve's arms wrapped around her or when Steve pulled her in close. Words could never explain how much Logan wanted that to be _him_. When he saw that beautiful smile of hers on that pretty little face, but knew that it wasn't for him, that was when Logan missed her the most. He still died a little inside every time he saw Camille in that blue dress, knowing that she wasn't dressed in that for Logan, just for Steve. Logan knew what he had when he was with Camille, he truly did; he just never imagined he would ever lose it. And he was foolish to believe that.

When he looks back on his relationship, Logan knew it wasn't perfect. There were cracks, the occasional fight, and Logan knew that theirs would never be the Hollywood love story relationship. But that didn't matter to him. Because their fights always ended with forgiveness and those cracks were filled with love and that every Hollywood love story was always just another script, never real, always the same as the next. Sure, they both had their faults, but doesn't everyone? And when Logan thought about it, he loved Camille's faults a thousand times more than he hated them.

But that was gone now. He was alone while she had someone else. She had moved on, while Logan was still clinging to the same hope that he had been for months. The ridiculous hope that just like their other breakups, this was just temporary and she would soon come back to him. Deep in his heart, though, he knew that this one was different and Camille wasn't just going to change her mind overnight.

His friends tried their best to help him through the breakup. They all say that it'll be ok, that _Logan_ would be ok. Kendall offered his ways of how he got over Jo when she left for New Zealand. Carlos made him a batch of corndogs and played with him on the swirly slide. James took him out to meet someone new, like Camille did. But none of his friends' plans worked. Sure, he pretended like they did and he was perfectly fine now, but he knew the truth.

Logan wasn't anywhere near 'fine'. He couldn't just act like they never kissed, he couldn't just forget, pretend they never met. But he still tried and tried. But Logan knows he hasn't yet succeeded when Camille walks by and he still falls to pieces. He tries to keep busy so he doesn't think of her and there are days when he doesn't even think of her. But at night, lying in his bed, when there's nothing left to do, that's when he begins to think about her again.

Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, love is the one of the few things in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.

But even with the pain that he now has, Logan never has nor will he ever regret the time he spent with Camille. The times they happy together were worth the times he now cries alone. Even if it was no more, Logan took so much from that relationship that he would always be grateful to her for. She made him happy. She gave him hope. She made him realize that it was ok to give his heart to someone else and to trust someone. She taught him to be unique and it doesn't matter what others think of you, that he doesn't always have to be the genius. Logan learned so much from Camille.

But the one thing she never taught him is how to get over her. Logan knows that it shouldn't be this hard, it shouldn't hurt this bad, or that it shouldn't take this long. Maybe the reason he can't get over her is because he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to not go to the movies with her on Saturday night and he doesn't want to remember that he had her and he lost her. Despite what he wants, though, it's not going to change the fact that Logan and Camille are no more. No matter how much he wishes it wasn't so, he knows that it's just Logan now.

But as Logan sits in 2J, with nothing but his thoughts to listen to, he realizes that sometimes, no matter how much we love, we lose people. But we never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to move on. There are things that we don't want to happen but we have to accept, things we don't know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. Logan was strong when he pulled Camille in and finally let himself love. But he'll become stronger when he's able to let her go.

He'll heal. He knows he will. Logan may not move on as fast as Camille does, but he will move on. It may take a while, but Logan will learn to love again. Maybe Camille _will _come back to him or maybe he'll go call that new girl, Peggy. He'll move on, he'll let go. He'll never forget, but he won't let the pain of losing Camille keep him from living life. Someday, he'll wake up and the pain won't be so weighing and he'll be able to sleep through the night without dreaming of her. But even when that happens, he won't ever forget what Camille Roberts did for him.

He still loved her. He didn't care that her hand was no longer his to hold or that it had been months since their breakup—he still loved her. And that was one thing that would never change.

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**Ok. How was that? Is it too short? Is it too mushy? Ugh, I don't know. I still feel really nervous about putting this out there because I have no experience writing Lomille romance. I hope this is ok! I hope you guys like it!**

**So, I would love your guy's opinions on this! Tell me what you liked, tell me what you didn't like, tell me anything! Please, leave your opinion in a review!**

**Thanks guys! I love you all!**


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